Sunday, November 1, 2015

Climbing Trees and Epiphanies.

Ever since I was little, I loved climbing trees. It gave me a sense of euphoric happiness and a rush of adrenaline as I reached the top. Each branch seemed like an adventure waiting to happen, and let me tell you, I was all about adventure.

Yesterday, I had the opportunity to experience these feelings all over again. The knotty texture of the wood pushed into the smooth parts of my hands, the leaves rustled in my face, and the tips of my fingers grew cold as I did something I hadn't for a really long time.

Long story short, I sat in the Linden tree in my backyard for a good hour and a half.

Each branch wrapped me in its sturdy embrace, providing just enough comfort that I wanted to stay longer. It was while the tree held me that I realized something about myself.

I just want to have a completely passionate, silly, and adventurous life. So I will.

I will climb trees.
I will throw snowballs.
I will run barefoot through grass.
I will pretend.
I will splash through puddles.
I will laugh
...and laugh
...and laugh.
But also I will love
and cherish
and hope
and dream.
Because that is what I want my life to be about.


Happiness.





Sunday, October 18, 2015

A Love Letter.

Dear Autumn,

I believe myself entirely incapable of expressing my feelings for you in words. You seem to leave everyone, myself included, in awe as you tumble down from the mountains. Every leaf is captivated by your beauty, turning scarlet as you rush past, unable to contain their blushes any longer, and gradually falling for you as I have. When you are here, days that once were filled with laziness by the pool transform into the longing for adventure. Everyone makes preparations for your visit. Cutting their grass a little bit shorter, putting on their best sweaters, and creating pumpkin flavored everything, just for your liking. Even the strict schoolteachers put their lessons on hold, just to get a glimpse of you. I would have to admit that I am much more enamored of you than the average Joe. When you come, I cant help but feel excitement in the air, and a longing to be in the mountains. 

I guess what I am trying to say, is that I love you. 
And, it makes me sad to think that you only come once a year. 
What could be a year round adventure only lasts a couple short, glorious, months. Months in which I spend all of my time devoted to you. In your honor I go to bonfires, hikes, parties, plays, and so much more. If I could, I would stay every moment with you.

You are glorious.

Sincerely,
Sadie


Sunday, September 27, 2015

Beautiful Things

I don't know about you, but sometimes I just need a pick me up. Like really really badly.Today happens to be one of  those days.So, in lieu of a normal blog post, I am going to list a bunch of beautiful things that make me happy. Just because I can.

1.The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints
2. My family
3. My friends
4. Dancing
5. Writing
6. Poetry
7. Good Music *cough* Imagine Dragons *cough*
8. My Ukulele
9. Walking through crowded halls in high-school
10. Tight hugs
11. Loose hugs
12. Hugs from behind
13. ... basically just hugs in general.
14. Babies fresh from the tub
15. Sweatpants
16. British television
18. Old movies
19. Jimmy Stewart
20. My camera
21. Cold grass
22. Fuzzy socks
23. Christmas lights
24. Wet "snowman" snow
25. Marshmallows
26. Cake batter ice cream
27. Long books
28. Handwritten notes
29. Real life love stories
30. You.

Sunday, September 20, 2015

Okay.

Sometimes life is hard. Like, really hard.

So hard that sometimes you don't feel like getting out of bed in the morning, and that no body understands, and that staying at home is a much better option that having to face the world and their plastic smiles.

You don't want to be happy. You don't want to be sad. You just want to be alone and cry, but be with people and laugh all at the same time.

You are angry and depressed and broken.

But that is okay.


For some reason, I feel like this is all that I have to say. Its not poetic or beautifully written, but it is true. You are not a failure if you are sad. 

Okay?


Saturday, September 12, 2015

Sticks and Stones May Break My Bones

Okay, I am going to be completely honest with you guys right now.

I freaking hate the saying "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.".
Frankly, this little ditty isn't right, nor should it at any times be considered even halfway truthful.
Words hurt. A lot. I would rather be slapped in the face 500 times than told I am worthless. Why? Because pain eventually subsides, but words can linger forever.

Although happy words should be remembered more, it tends to be the angry speeches that truly stick. For example, when I was in elementary school, there was this girl who said she hated me. I remember exactly where I was when the words fell out of her angry mouth, and how badly my little heart hurt to think that someone could feel that much aversion towards me. I had broken an arm before, fell and scraped my knee, stubbed my toe, but none of those could compare to the pain I felt then.

Sadly, I cant seem to remember any of the nice things she ever said.

Once, in middle school, I was told the only reason my friends liked me was because I was "pretty". The same girl later called me a profane name behind my back, wrote a page long note explaining how much she hated me, and attempted to destroy every friendship I cherished.

For some reason every nice thing she spoke in my general vicinity was received with suspicion and anger. Hmmm, I wonder why I felt that way.

Sure, sticks and stones may break my bones, but words are more like cannons.

With every fiber of my being, I plead with you to choose your words wisely. Anger, hate, malice, and jealousy can destroy relationships, and all together make life crappy. One small sentence can lead to years filled with sadness.  I mean, think about it. Would you rather be someones happy memory, or their tormenting nightmare?

To combat the never ceasing war of words, build a fortress surrounding other people's hearts. Construct it gently, and build it brick by brick with kind thoughts and loving words. Tell them little facts about their personality, share happy stories, enjoy silence together, but never ever willfully hurt them. You just don't know when you could push them over the edge.

Please, I beg of you, stop the warfare. Love people, love life, love yourself, love little things, and above all share your happiness.

If you have ever been bullied, or are being bullied, please email me at becauseofbeautifullives@gmail.com. I would be happy to listen, and share with you what knowledge I possibly could.

I love you!
Sadie

Sunday, August 30, 2015

Calm

Hey guys!

So, if you havent noticed, I kinda have a theme going on for this blog. Some of my posts are about how YOU are beautiful, and others are about how you can make your life beautiful. Well, I am about to bring in a new blog topic!

CUE THE EPIC MUSIC!

For years I have loved writing stories. There is just something magical about taking my thoughts, and putting them on a page for others to read and interpret. Mmmm. I just love it. So, once a month I am going to present you with A SHORT STORY! I think stories are beautiful, so why not put them on a blog all about true beauty?

Without further ado, here is my first short story that I have ever published on the internet. I hope you like it!

She shook as he held her, sitting on the tiles of the deserted high school hallway. Her breath came in quick uncontrollable bursts, eyes darting this way and that. He contemplated what to do if she passed out. There were only three people left in the building, one in the front office, only a two minutes’ walk from the secluded corner where they sat. The others remained on the second and third floors, where they had, only two hours ago, been counting down the minutes until each student went home. If anything did happen, the boy was sure he knew what to do. It would only take thirty seconds to run to the office, maybe thirty-five if he dialed 911 on the way.

A heart wrenching sob pierced the air, and pulled him out of his thoughts. “Oliver” the girl gasped, barely able to let his name escape her blue lips. “Oliver, please! Make it stop!” A single tear rolled down her cheek, falling gracefully on his chest. Pain and fear clouded her emerald eyes. She was fighting a war inside that couldn’t be seen, dodging bullets that were in her mind, and throwing grenades at her frantic thoughts. His voice caught when he tried to speak. Seeing her like this made his heart heavy. Why do the best people always have the hardest trials? “Mercedes, focus. Only you can stop it. You just have to try.” “I am trying!” She practically screamed. “I never stop trying! I fight every single day of my life! Can’t somebody else be on the front lines for once?”

As if on cue, Mercedes’ breathing sped up again. Rapid puffs of air came out of her mouth, and her eyes widened in terror. Every part of her slender body trembled as the fear she longed to hide consumed every happy thought that ever crossed her mind. In vain, she groped for the fabric of Oliver’s shirt, needing something to hold on to while her world was falling to pieces.

Anxiety, she had told him, was a monster that came unannounced; filled with rage at nonsense and fear towards everything.

“Mercedes, you are hyperventilating. I need you to control your breathing so you don’t pass out.” Oliver’s brows were furrowed in concentration. Please, he thought. Fight as hard as you can. “I-I-I can’t.” The air became increasingly thin with every shallow breath she was taking. Beads of perspiration collected on her forehead like dew on the morning grass. She was trying  so hard, but something held her back. Part of her wanted to faint, to escape this world full of panic and fear. Black clouded the edges of her vision, and horror gripped her heart. “Oliver-“her lids became heavy.

“Mere, look at me. Look me straight in the eyes.” She wondered why he sounded scared. Why would he be if he didn’t have anxiety? “Mere!” Gradually she fought to turn her head, and their eyes met. “Listen to me Mercedes. You need to put your back against my chest. If you want to stop hyperventilating, you have to breathe when I breathe. Okay?”  Sobs racked her body, and she felt like throwing up. “No.” She gasped. “I can’t.” Unwillingly, Oliver turned her so that there was no space between his own chest and her back. “Please Mere, follow me. Breathe.”

Their pace started out slow, Mercedes breathing correctly for a moment, then slipping into hyperventilation once again. Oliver offered an assortment of encouragements, some filled with hope, but others tinged with worry. He knew she desperately needed air, but her lungs could only receive it if she tried harder.

“Oliver, give me your hand.” She said shakily. “If you give me your hand I can stop.” Together they intertwined their fingers, uniting them in purpose. Hope rose in Oliver’s chest. She was calming down, it was working. Gradually she paced her breaths with his, and succumbed to the even beats of his heart.

He felt her relax, and could only imagine the peace that was spreading across her face. “Mercedes,” he whispered in her ear, “you did it!” The last of her fear washed away, and fatigue replaced it instead. She wanted to apologize for her unreasonable panic, but found herself too tired to try.

While Mercedes sat on the tile of her empty high school hallway, wrapped in the arms of the boy she adored, a profound thought occurred to her.

Calm is not a feeling, but a person.


Sunday, August 16, 2015

You Matter

Dear Someone,

I am so sorry that your life isn't exactly how you want it right now. I am sorry that you feel lonely, and scared, and frustrated. I am sorry that you feel like you don't matter to anybody. That if you disappeared off the face of the planet no one would care. Because the truth is,

You matter.

You are lovable.
You are kind.
You are special.
You are important.
You are going to change the world.

Because you are you.

Don't let anybody tell you otherwise.

Remember that you are not alone in this endeavor, that there is always someone who cares. Feel free to remove your fake smile and cry to them, even if you feel uncomfortable about it. 9 times out of 10 you will feel better than you did before. I promise.

Remember that you can change the world, and that inspiration comes from the hardest of trials.

Remember to focus on the little things, for they make up who we are.

Remember to pray always.

Remember who you are, because you are pretty freaking amazing.

Remember that you matter, even if the world says otherwise. 

I love you!
            Sadie

If you are struggling with anything, feel free to email me at: becauseofbeautifullives@gmail.com.
I will definitely respond. :)